African Reading Challenge

I said I would enter the reading challenge and I have but I don't have a list of books. I have decided to read the books then add them to the list.

I just finished A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah and like he said it is worth the read. It is told in a very matter of fact way, no embellishments, no style but it gets the message across. I don't know if I would have been able to read it if it hadn't been written like it is. It is a harrowing story, a 12 year old boy slitting someone's throat with a bayonet is hard enough to comprehend without it being written in language that evokes the images vividly, so I am kind of glad it is not very well written. It is a very sad reality where these boys are taken from their families and recruited into the army (the army, not the rebel forces, the bloody army.) I am inspired to find out more.

Read this but I emaphasize, the writing is lacklustre at best.

I am going to take a break now and read the only Tony Parson's book I haven't yet read, The Family Way.

Snooze: A work story

You all know I work in a call centre for a telecommunications company that will remain unnamed, right? You also probably know that we hear some of the funniest things.

Some guy called in and talked to someone else but this story was the funniest thing I had ever heard. I will write it out in Luganda and translate it after.

(phone rings)
Agent: Good morning, (agent) speaking, how can I help you?

Sub: Gyebale ko nyabo. Nafunye mu obuzibu zibu mu ssimu yange. Osobola kunyamba ko?

Agent: Buzibu ki Ssebo?

Sub: Waliwo ennamba enkubila bulikanaku ku sawa zezimu naye essimu bwenjikwata, omuntu tayogela. Ono'musajja asumbwa nyo. Anzukusa ku sawa kuminabili ate natayogela kintu kyona. Nina kyensobola okukola o'kyilekelawo?

Agent: Ssebo, eyo nambe ki?

Sub: Enamba sijilaba, naye elinya ndilaba.

Agent: Bwoba olaba elinya, kitageza nti enamba mweli mu ssimu yo.

Sub: Neda, enambe telimu, najinonyeza nga sijilaba

Agent: Kale, mbulila elinya

Sub: Bamuyita SNOOZE!

Translation.

(phone rings)
Agent: Good morning, (agent) speaking, how may I help you?

Sub: Good morning. I am having a problem with my phone, can you help me?

Agent: What is the problem, sir?

Sub: There is a number that keeps calling me but when I pick the phone up no one speaks. It calls me everyday at the same time and it is getting very annoying. It calls at 6.00am and wakes me up and this person does not answer me, is there anyway I can stop this?

Agent: What is the number?

Sub: I don't know the number but I know the name. It shows on my phone.

Agent: If you see the name, that must mean the number is in your phone.

Sub: The number is not in my phone, I checked and it is not there.

Agent: Ok, tell me the name you see.

Sub: That person is called SNOOZE!

Love

Love

Love will come find you

Just to remind you

Of who you are

Hold on

It will forsake you

Threaten to break you

Take what you got

Everybody laughs

Everybody cries

Sure it could hurt you baby

But give it a lil try

See that's the thing about love

Friends

Sometimes will blind you

Sneak up behind you

You cant give enough

Then life

It will embrace you

Totally amaze you

So you don't give up

Everybody laughs

Everybody cries

Sure it could hurt you baby

But give it a lil try

See that's the thing about love

Don't tell me that I’m not the only that's going thru it all

Ohhh sometimes I feel like I’m the only that's going thru it all

But its time

Oh its time

For me to shine

HeyIts my time

Oh its time

For me to shine

Its my time

Said its my time

For me to shine

Its my time

Its bout time

For me to shine

Everybody laughs

Everybody cries

Sure it could hurt u baby

But give it a lil try

That's the thing about love

That's the thing about love

That's the thing about

That's the thing about love

**Lyrics The Thing About Love - Alicia Keys

Billy Blues

I had been to Billy Blues before it was cool and the only cool thing about it then was the pictures they had up of Blues legends like Elvis (does he count?) and other greats whose names I can't remember right now. Other than that, it (excuse the terrible pun) gave me the blues so I decided not to go back until recently it was all I could hear about from my more outgoing family and friends (read my younger sisters, all my friends these days are old.)

Eventually, on Friday, I ended up there after a fun filled night. (I only got two pics so deal with it.) First I went to Carlo's and then we went to Arirang (where the pictures were taken) with Brenda (Chan, jealous much?) and Bren's family and friends.

We then went to the Pyramids casino and I am now seriously berating myself for not taking any pictures because y'all need to see this casino. It is tiny and the minute you walk in, you feel like you have entered one of those Mob-movies and you start looking for the Italians. You know those basement-shit-load-of-money-buy-in for only certain people, that's what it feels like except it's well lit.

We then headed to Mayfair Casino which looks nice (again, what was I thinking and where was my camera except for on my phone?) It looks and feels like a train terminal complete with ticket booths and the announcer on the speaker thingies (in this case announcing Bingo numbers.) What I didn't like was that on the slot machines, there was no noise from the coins clanging onto the tray because you don't get coins. You sit on the machine and the man with the key comes and puts for you the amount of money you want to spend and when you're done he comes back and pays you in cash, no clanky coins in this train terminal.

We decide to leave and go to Billy Blues after I was up 10,000 and Carlo was up 20,000. We walk down to get a cab and I see this (I remembered I had a camera for this.) I was so amused but it makes sense, no? I guess this guy doesn't want to have to carry this stool home everyday but would also not like to see it stolen. It's things like these that make me love walking around at night. So, we get to Billy Blues and its like I am seeing my long lost relatives. You know those friends you make at the bar and you only ever see at the bar? I had so many of those friends, let's face it, I used to go out quite a bit. Anyway, Friday was a chance to catch up. I saw so many people I hadn't seen in forever and we talked about everything from the race for the US Democrat candidate to the credit crash in the UK to what all this has to do with China. It was a really fun night but I am not planning to do it agan anytime soon. I was tired, the music was loud, along with the people I was glad to see, there were like 3 fold those I didn't and I can't think of the other thing but it was there.

All in all, fun night, not doing it again soon.

Two Words : Hot Steps

Have you seen that show? It is the most hilarious thing ever to come out of Uganda. For those of you not in the know, Hot Steps is a TV show much in the vein of Pop Idol and Star Search except they are looking for dancers. If that premise isn't funny enough for you, imagine please, the way people suck at singing in the first episodes of such shows, imagine how much funnier dancing would be. It doesn't disappoint, it is hilarious. People are either delusional or blind, nothing else explains their willingness to completely embarrass themselves on national TV.
The judges are Ronnie of Obsessions and Michael, formerly of Obsessions, now of Kombat. Michael seems to be trying really hard to be mean but the looks on Ronnie's face. I suggest that at the end of each show, there be a montage of the looks on Ronnie's face because they are priceless.
Back to the dancers. On Thursday's show, there was a contestant called Pophia and there is no way I can tell it to make as funny as it was. She is rod-thin with absolutely no ass to speak of but she kept turning her back to the judges and tapping the top of her thighs (read ass) and the judges were cracking up because she had this come hither look on her face that frankly was very scary. This was in Entebbe.
The show in Jinja has this 4o-something old man decided to show case his lingala skills and what ensued looked like a middle aged chicken on speed.
I am out of time so my parting words are, try to catch this on NTV on Thursday sometime after 8.00pm.

Weekday Blogging, Haarnk, Haarnk

I have noticed that very few of you blog on weekends. Go ahead, report yourselves, it's because you be abusing your office internet, right? Honestly, who am I to speak? I only blog on Sunday because I work on Sunday.

So, I was at Nandos at around 11.30pm last night and I ran into an old teacher of mine. After saying hello and all, he says to me, "What are you doing out at this time? Where is your gate pass?" Talk about a Haarnk Haarnk moment.

I thought I would put up a picture of me with the weight I have gained. This was taken at the end of our Customer Appreciation Week. We had to go to work dressed in traditional attire and I picked a Sari. I like it, so what do you think. Does it make me look fat?

As is evident, I have nothing to say. Nothing at all. I'll take my leave now.

Bye my friends.

Tagistis.

The disease is back and I have been tagged and tagged and tagged again. There is something about rules but that will come later. As of now, I will regale you once again with tales of myself or better yet 6 random facts you may or may not know about me.

Let's see:

First:

I am increasing in girth and as such have been mistaken for pregnant by many people. It all started when my sister told me she had heard at school that I had given birth, of course she knew it was bull because she lives with me but the people at her school, my old one, were convinced. Then I was out one night and some guy I went to school with very briefly was standing with me at a bar and he tells me congratulations while staring at my belly, I corrected him obviously but was not very happy about it and then the last straw was when last week my very good friend whom I hadn't seen in a while calls me. I will transcribe part of the conversation below.

Her: Is there something you want to say before I quarrel?

Me: Uhh, I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about?

Her: Should I be congratulating you?

Me: On my not so recent promotion at work?

Her: No, on your five months pregnancy

Me: WHAT???!!!!!!

Her: I just heard that you were with child. I was berated for being a bad friend for not knowing.

Suffice it to say I was shocked, I knew I was growing a potbelly but I had no idea it was this bad. So I have embarked (in my mind) on a rigorous diet to reverse these effects.

Second:

I have a very strange relationship with my period. I can't stand it, I hate being in so much pain with nothing I can do about it. I hate the fact of it, the way it makes me feel eugh and the way I have been having it every month since I was 10. On the other hand, I am so freaked when it is even one day late, even when I have no reason to be afraid, I can barely sleep for worry. Talk about love-hate.

Three:

I found out two days ago that I like Jazz. How crazy is that? I have always been firm in my dislike for jazz mainly because people who do like jazz are music snobs and also I'm just not that into it, or so I thought until I found out that Big Band and Swing which I love are actually categorized as Jazz and so now I grudgingly admit that I do like Jazz although I am quick to add exactly what I mean by that.

Four:

You know how you create labels for your posts, I didn't think I would ever need to use the labels on this post again but I guess I was wrong as I (rarely) am sometimes. I just had that random thought and decided to include it in here since I am struggling with things to write.

Five:

Almost done. I like taking pictures. Not only of myself but of everything as is evidenced in my previous post with the pictures of sidewalks and stuff. I can't wait to own my own camera which I am in the process of acquiring. I do feel for all of you whom I will subject to my pictures all the time, it will be my artistic outlet.

Six:

I have girl crushes. Do the rest of you girls? I just know some women I would just love to be or have been. Like, they're all independent and smart and funny and have their own individual sense of style and I hope that is how I come off. You hope you are looking into a mirror when you see them or are with them.

I hereby tag Tumwi, Kissyfur, Duksey, Dante, Inktus and B2B.

If you've been tagged before, tough shit.

Oh! Rules;

Link back to your tagger.
Post these rules in your submission.
Share six things/habits/quirks/whatever about you in your submission.
Tag six [random] people at the end of it.
Tell each taggee via comments that he/she done been tagged.

Shutter Happy

Don't ask me why there is a blow dryer in the living room.

Mbu, I was sleeping, safely tucked under my mosquio net.

This is the book I am reading now, Hippopotamus by Stephen Fry. This page is of no particular importance, just happened to be the one I was on when I decided to take the pic.

I like this picture, the sidewalk just looked so pretty with the shadow of the tree and everything.

I liked it so much, I took it twice.

The Beautyful Ones Are Not Yet Born

This is my attempt at a proper book review.

This book is beautiful, I realize I say that about a lot of books but I mean it all the time. There is something about books where the protagonist remains unnamed; there is a way one relates to characters that are nameless that is different from those that are named. You don’t assume anything and every little description helps you form an opinion as to what kind of person this character is.

The main character in this book, the man as he is referred to, is trying not to be corrupt in a country riddled with corruption. His family chastises him for not wanting to advance and make them happy when all their friends around them are doing so well. What is so sad is that he knows it is wrong and that he is doing the right thing but he feels guilty for not doing the wrong thing? Do any of us even know what that is like anymore in an age where everyone is so preoccupied with their own fiscal satisfaction, where we step on the little man to get to the top of the ladder, especially here where nothing can get done without a few hands getting greased? Even sadder is the fact that even in the knowledge that the man is doing the right thing does not help ease the futility of his life. The man feels that all there is to life is living it by not complaining about his station in it, going to work, going back home and then going back to work. The author masterfully describes everything in this book, there is a scene where the man takes a lunch break with no lunch to eat and decides to take a walk that leads him to cross some railway tracks and I swear you can see this man, you are there with him, as hungry as he is and totally worn out but glad for the fresh air and sunshine. There is a line that stayed with me, “His breath reeked with the rich stench of rotten menstrual blood”. Who but the most awesome writer can pull a line like that off?

If you can read this masterpiece and let it change your life.

The reason I hate writing reviews is that I will never ever write as beautifully as the authors of the books I am writing about and as such can never convey to you just how beautiful the writing is. Just trust me because even though I can’t write, I sure can read.

Kwanjula

I have written this solely to kwanjula my new blog friend who has only been blogging three days but already has three posts up. (How I wish I could do that.) Anyway, I present to you,

M-World.

Nothing Doing

Can you believe there is not a place on Kampala Road that sells coffee at 7:00am on Sunday? Shouldn't there be a coffee bar that is open all the time? I woke up at an ungodly hour to be at work and all I needed was a quick fix but neyvah to be any help. Nandos was open but with a dead coffee machine, Cafe Pap was open but only for cleaning as for Dominoes, the doors were even closed. Now I am here dozing at my workstation and starting to find voices in my ear. Life is hard.
So, I was reading through my blog and it seems like I used to lead a very interesting life compared to the one I am leading now evidenced by all the partying I used to do and Dante is on my case constantly that I am growing old but I disagree. I might not blog a whole lot but I am really happy right now. Happier than I have been (I was going to say in a long time but I don't usually be sad) almost ever. Just because I don't blog does not mean I am old and boring, does it?
Anyway, I was at Garden City the other day with Carlo having coffee and killing the hours till I was to watch American Gangster with the lover when I got stalked. It wasn't as bad as it sounded but it was kinda freaky. So there we are at the NYK when this guy sits down opposite us right in my line of sight and he just keeps staring at me. He buys just a water and then he walks outside to our table to use the tissues passing on the way another perfectly ok set of tissues. I thought that was the extent of it, I am kinda used to being stared at so I thought no big deal. We walk away after paying our bill and enter some saloon to get Carlo's ears pierced and what do you know SD (Stalker Dude) walks right in there behind us and aks how much a hair cut is and then again sits right opposite us. We decided to leave the saloon and walk over to the ATM for Carlo and again he follows us. At this point it is just getting irritating because he is all sweaty and smelly and ukempt, his shirt is half untucked and he is not cute. If you are going to stalk someone, atleast, have the decency to look good while doing it. So, Carlo leaves because it is time for me to go get the tickets and I walk up to the cinema. I meet an old friend and go over to say hello and from where I am standing at Tutti Frutti I see SD looking a bit like he has lost someone he is trying to find. I get the tickets but I have to wait before we can get in the cinema so I sit on these chairs they let you sit on as you wait and who walks up and sits opposite me? You guessed it. I start to think he is dumb because does he think I am not seeing him, why doesn't he say anything but he walks up to the concession stand and starts asking about the prices of things. Thankfully the lover finally shows up and I practically run to him and hug him because this was getting weird.
Anyway we saw American Gangster and I must say, Denzel has excellent teeth and his acting isn't so bad either. The whole time I was thinking Frank Lucas had him some brass balls and also even though he was a drug dealer you've got to give it up for him, the man was intent on being rich and poweful and I don't know if it just the movie but it looked so easy.Even us we sell pure heroine and be rich, right?

Uganda Best of Blog Awards.

The polls are finally up on The Kampalan so go on over there and vote for your favourite blogs. Voting ends on 27th February so see you in the winners' circle.

BHH Recap

And so it was, BHH I mean and it rocked. I was the first one there as I usually am only because I work so close to Mateos and finish work at 4 so I am basically idle till 6. I wasn't there long and who comes along but the blushing bride-to-be Be Silent herself. We talked about Tandra's latest post which reads like a Hollywood rom-com with none of the rom or com just the tears. We weren't there long when Carlo came with Pesh who despite not having a blog reads them religiously. Ivan was next, fresh from his gig on the radio (Vision Voice 94.8 they had better pay me for this) discussing which one in the couple should declare their wealth to the other, the man or the woman. Does this mean they are not allowed to talk about same sex couples?

Rachel was next and she was shortly followed by Mr. Back to Basics himself, Edmund with Tandra. Kissyfur came soon after and we had a newbie, Lucy decided to deign us with her presence. We introduced Pesh to her as Keitetsi and it was not pretty. Did I forget to mention Peter had been there for ages by this time? Flora came last but not too late and she invited someone along. Brian knows his series so he was fun. The whole night in general was a good one. We didn't get into the whole 'I am not my tribe' debate as we thought we would but we did get to see Ivan show off his Zune and Peter show off his Iphone. (But also boys!) The nomination sheets were handed out and the list will be out later on today. The night was soon over and we were all out of there by 9.30pm.

P.S There was no Guinness!

Blogger's Happy Hour

It is January so it is time for yet another BHH go here for details and an update on the 2007 Uganda Best of Blog Awards.

Night Rider

It is 2.00am and I am in my living room having just been dropped home from work. It is always so beautiful driving (or being driven) around Kampala at night and I thought I would share what that is like for me with you guys. Bear with me for I am an amateur, here I present Night Rider: A home made movie by me.If some images a are blurry and there is a bit of bumping, please, chalk it up to the moving car. I hope you enjoy.




If it is a bit bumpy or blurry in some places, please chalk it up to the moving car and not to my inexperience.

Later loverlies.

Only a few questions.

Despite there being no fuel in town, there was a massive traffic jam on my way to work today. This is so not good, the no fuel I mean. I was speaking to someone earlier today who called to my attention the fact that we are not the only ones suffering from the border closing. I had forgotten that Rwanda, Burundi, Congo and Sudan all benefit from neighbouring Kenya. If this carries on much longer, everything will eventually be priced much higher to factor in the price of fuel.
While we are on the subject of Kenya, what I want to ask, what gets me so incensed, is the machetes. Must it be machetes? I wonder about the human condition when one man can hack another to death and watch him die as he does this. We have an incredible capacity for evil as humans, we do. To burn up a church with women and children in it simply because they are not the same tribe as you is ludicrous and I cannot believe it is happening. Is there anything I can do, we can do to stop the madness? I also wonder about a man who starts out with a pledge to help his people but goes on to let this evil fester right under his nose knowing it is all his own fault. Does Kibaki not care? I know they say that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely but how can he not care at all? How long will he not care? Now, I am not very political at all but it sucks to see what is happening and to have it happen only next door. Please don't let this turn into another genocide. Kenya, you are all very much in my prayers.


Year in Review

All in all, I have had a pretty interesting year.

I got my heart broken and met the love of my life.

I got a job, lost it, got another one and got a promotion.

I moved house and really love the one I'm in now.

I pierced my tongue and let the second piercings in my ear seal up.

I got green eyes which I assure you I love. (see banner)

I cried, laughed, sighed, danced, loved and lived.


The one still to come.

For the new year I resolve to

Blog more often (yeah right)

Care more practically (i.e. give alms and volunteer for good causes)

And the biggie, launch the Read-A-Book Literacy programme. (I want to promote the reading culture in primary school going children and I need all of you guys help to make this happen. You can start by giving me all your old children's books and promising to volunteer to read to the kids when I need you to.)

Wish me luck.

And another one.

I can't believe we are in another year. I remember the New Year's Eve of 2007 so vividly as if it were yesterday. Actually, a little better than yesterday considering it was way more fun. This is what I did for New Year's Eve yesterday. I watched Rent with my sisters. What did you do?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Can't be bothered to think of one.

I have been seeing this on may way to and from work everyday and I don't think I have ever seen a lazier attempt at decorating.

The taxi was moving so not the best shot but those light look like they were simply flung at the tree. Really? (You probably can't see the trees but that's what the lights are hanging on.)

Secret Santa

We had our own Secret Santa a bit late in the season but I got myself a pretty toilet bag. (Seen Here)

Also I had a camera for a while there which explains the above post.

Awesome Presents.

I have always wanted an excuse to take a picture of my eyes (as if Tumwi) and I finally got one. I am so feeling these right now. I got these for Christmas from my lover and it the most awesome present ever. Don't you agree?

Christmas at Work.

Yes, I am at work. Can you believe it? I had to wake up at the crack of dawn to come here and now I am sleepy as all fuck. I don't usually do mornings but I should be having dinner with the part of my family that is still stuck in Kampala with me.

It is strange how this feels like any other ordinary day, the people's complaints are the same, everyone here looks pretty much the same and nothing is happening. Oh, to be a kid again.

Will post later after the day is done and let you know how it has gone.